Death Warrant
Directed by Deran Sarafian, 1990



Jean Claude van Damme is an undercover cop selected to investigate a series of unexplained deaths in the State Penitentiary. What he uncovers is a macabre plot to sell human organs to the highest bidder and in doing so he has effectively signed his own death warrant. Van Damme now faces a vengeful inmate determined to turn his life into a nightmarish fight for survival.  Van Damme gets to go through all the old prison cliches - homosexual inmates, transvestites, getting locked up naked in a cockroach filled hole - in a manner which is never fun, but wholly unpleasant.

In fact, the film seems to simply switch from Van Damme getting beaten up in one bad situation to just put him in another, and another, and so on until the end. Most of the film is dark and dank looking, so this ultimately makes for one majorly depressing movie, well that is if it wasn't for the cool action sequences.

The cast is of the typical B-movie variety, with Robert Guillaume enjoying his role as one of those 'old black sympathetic guys' who seem to fill up just about every prison movie of the 90's, from The Shawshank Redemption to Fortress. The actor playing the evil Sandman, Patrick Kilpatrick is also memorably over the top, with a manic laugh and even stranger features. Other memorable faces fill out the cast, but Cynthia Gibb has a thankless role as the token love interest who gets about five minutes of screen time and is pretty much degraded. Armin Shimerman (Quark from Deep Space Nine) is the only other familiar face, as a corrupt doctor who faces gang vengeance.

Thankfully, the interesting and unlikely plot about unorthodox organ donation is pretty fun to watch, and there are lots of fights and punch-ups to keep things moving along. The movie is pretty average, well that is until the ending, then it becomes something else entirely.

Never have I seen a reel of film that is so over the top, but done in such a straight-faced manner. This is the ultimate in unintentional humour, the final fight between Van Damme and the Sandman is sheer brilliance because of the absurdity of it. It starts off with Van Damme having a huge spanner hit him across the wrists and head, then the Sandman whacking him in the chest and stomach with the aforementioned hammer. This would have killed most people, but has no effect on Van Damme who is being pummelled one minute and then up and running the next.

The next fight involves a circular saw which just happens to be laying around, and the Sandman gets his hair sliced off in one cool and startling effect sequence, which I've been wondering how they achieved. After this Van Damme gets thrown off a ledge and hits the ground some thirty feet below, only to groan and grunt a bit, then he gets up and keeps on fighting! The Sandman uses a broken lightbulb (which in reality would be extremely fragile and hardly effective) to lacerate most of Van Damme's body. But our favourite Muscles from Brussels eventually kicks the Sandman into a burning room, but the Sandman runs out, puts out the fire and keeps on fighting! This is hilarious stuff.

Let's just recap here : by this time, the Sandman is suffering from third degree burns over 70% of his body, and would probably be unconscious with the pain. He definitely wouldn't be coherent, and he couldn't stand up either. Van Damme, meanwhile, has had his skull fractured and his arms broken with the spanner, his stomach crushed and mutilated with the same spanner, he's been thrown off a ledge and had the rest of his ribs and bones broken in the resulting fall, and also he's had most of his body sliced open and must have lost a couple of pints of blood. Still, he's one tough guy, and he has just enough strength to kick the Sandman's head onto a handy spike, then breaks his jaw and kills him.

In another hilarious moment, all the prisoners stand back to let him pass (despite the fact he's an undercover cop), because he's earned some respect from the fight. This has to be one of the best fight sequences I've ever seen, just because it's so funny and an unexpected treat.





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